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Banfield, E. J. (Edmund James), 1852-1923

"Confessions of a Beachcomber"

Presently she came and
with emphatic deliberation said--"Boss--No--good--Missis--call--out--
Jinny! Jinny! When want wash 'em plate. More better you hammer 'em that
fella, all asame Essie!" Jinny did not wish that the missis should be
chastised, but that she should be summoned to the plate washing with the
pomp and ceremony of a dinner gong, as the maid used to do in a more
civilised home.
FIRE JUMP UP
Mickie and Jinny once paid a visit to town, and Jinny, making an
afternoon call, was invited to have a cup of tea. She said, "Never mind,
Missis. Fire, he no burn." A gas stove was available, and Jinny jumped
and exclaimed as the blue flame sprang from nowhere. Wherever the lady
of the house pleased to apply a match the fire came. Next morning Mickie
was brought round to witness the wonder, Jinny asking--"Missis. You
show 'em Mickie fire jump up all about!"
SLOP TEETH
A lady up North was asked by her black maid, whose face had been
terribly battered by her infuriated husband, to send to the shop for new
teeth, in payment of which she tendered half-a-crown, promising "two
bob more" as wages accumulated. This is a fact, and therefore
comparable with the anecdote which tells that a military bandmaster
demanded the return of a set of teeth supplied at the regiment's expense
to a cornet player who had been granted his discharge.


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