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Banfield, E. J. (Edmund James), 1852-1923

"Confessions of a Beachcomber"

Zebra,
trouserless, scarcely took the trouble to look round as he informed
her--"Me make 'em trouser all a same Yarraman (horse)." His desire for
tight riding breeches was not restrained, and the consequence was in the
nature of a disaster.
LAURA'S TRAITS
Laura was a bad girl. Like Topsy, she acknowledged her naughtiness, but
never attempted to reform. A considerable quantity of milk had
disappeared from a jug, and her mistress asked--"You been drink milk,
Laura?" "No, missis, me no drink 'em." But the tell-tale moustache of
cream still lingered on her lips. Laura lived in a quiet home, where
there were no children, and few dishes to wash. The State Orphanage was
not far away, and the children thereof paraded every day on their way to
the State school. Gazing at the long procession marching two by two
Laura, with a far away look in her eyes, said--"Missis. Me no like wash
'em plate belonga these fellas!" Laura was wont to be sent to Sunday
school, where her ways were precise and demure, and where her natural
smartness gained her credit, and many good conduct tickets. Once she was
overheard at her devotions--"Please, Mr God, make missis strong woman,
make missis good woman!" She was sick, and her mistress insisted upon
administering castor oil, but Laura made a fuss.


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