When Odette ceased to be for him a creature always
absent, regretted, imagined; when the feeling that he had for her was no
longer the same mysterious disturbance that was wrought in him by the
phrase from the sonata, but constant affection and gratitude, when those
normal relations were established between them which would put an end to
his melancholy madness; then, no doubt, the actions of Odette's daily life
would appear to him as being of but little intrinsic interest--as he had
several times, already, felt that they might be, on the day, for instance,
when he had read, through its envelope, her letter to Forcheville.
Examining his complaint with as much scientific detachment as if he had
inoculated himself with it in order to study its effects, he told himself
that, when he was cured of it, what Odette might or might not do would be
indifferent to him. But in his morbid state, to tell the truth, he feared
death itself no more than such a recovery, which would, in fact, amount to
the death of all that he then was.
After these quiet evenings, Swann's suspicions would be temporarily
lulled; he would bless the name of Odette, and next day, in the morning,
would order the most attractive jewels to be sent to her, because her
kindnesses to him overnight had excited either his gratitude, or the
desire to see them repeated, or a paroxysm of love for her which had need
of some such outlet.
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