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Proust, Marcel, 1871-1922

"Swann's Way"


Sometimes several days had elapsed, during which she had caused him no
fresh anxiety; and as, from the next few visits which he would pay her, he
knew that he was likely to derive not any great pleasure, but, more
probably, some annoyance which would put an end to the state of calm in
which he found himself, he wrote to her that he was very busy, and would
not be able to see her on any of the days that he had suggested.
Meanwhile, a letter from her, crossing his, asked him to postpone one of
those very meetings. He asked himself, why; his suspicions, his grief,
again took hold of him. He could no longer abide, in the new state of
agitation into which he found himself plunged, by the arrangements which
he had made in his preceding state of comparative calm; he would run to
find her, and would insist upon seeing her on each of the following days.
And even if she had not written first, if she merely acknowledged his
letter, it was enough to make him unable to rest without seeing her. For,
upsetting all Swann's calculations, Odette's acceptance had entirely
changed his attitude. Like everyone who possesses something precious, so
as to know what would happen if he ceased for a moment to possess it, he
had detached the precious object from his mind, leaving, as he thought,
everything else in the same state as when it was there.


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