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?©tien, de Troyes, 12th cent.

"Four Arthurian Romances"

Yet its desire causes
me pain. Pain? Upon my faith, I must be mad, if to please my
heart I wish for something which troubles me. If I can, I ought
to banish any wish that distresses me. If I can? Mad one, what
have I said? I must, indeed, have little power if I have no
control over myself. Does Love think to set me in the same path
which is wont to lead others astray? Others he may lead astray,
but not me who care not for him. Never shall I be his, nor ever
was, and I shall never seek his friendship." Thus she argues
with herself, one moment loving, and hating the next. She is in
such doubt that she does not know which course she had better
adopt. She thinks to be on the defence against Love, but defence
is not what she wants. God! She does not know that Alexander is
thinking of her too! Love bestows upon them equally such a share
as is their due. He treats them very fairly and justly, for each
one loves and desires the other. And this love would be true and
right if only each one knew what was the other's wish. But he
does not know what her desire is, and she knows not the cause of
his distress.
(Vv. 541-574.) The Queen takes note of them and sees them often
blanch and pale and heave deep sighs and tremble. But she knows
no reason why they should do so, unless it be because of the sea
where they are.


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