For
instance, it would be vulgarly ridiculous to call a "cat" by its right
name; and when one says "cat," a dogmatic naturalist is justified in
thinking one means a lion or tiger, both these belonging to the _cat_egory
of "cats;" hence, a "cat" is denominated, for shortness, _felis
AEgyptiacus;_ an ass is turned into a horse, by being an _equus_; a woman
into a man, for with him she is equally _homo_.
Of this last species it is our purpose exclusively to treat. The variety
of it we commence with is,
THE BARBER (_homo emollientissimus_.--TRUEFIT).
_Physical structure and peculiarities_.--The most singular peculiarity of
the barber is, that although, in his avocations, he always is what is
termed a "strapper," yet his stature is usually short. His tongue,
however, makes up for this deficiency, being remarkably long,--a beautiful
provision of nature; for while he is seldom called upon to use his legs
with rapidity, his lingual organ is always obliged to be on the "run." His
eyes are keen, and his wits sharp; his mouth is tinged with humour, and
his hair--particularly when threatening to be gray--with _poudre unique_.
Manner, prepossessing; crop, close; fingers, dirty; toes, turned out. He
seldom indulges in whiskers, for his business is to shave.
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