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Conrad, Joseph, 1857-1924

"Under Western Eyes"

Well--don't forget me--especially if you are going
back to work in Russia. I could follow you, carrying anything that
was wanted--at a distance, you know. Or I could watch for hours at the
corner of a street if necessary,--in wet or snow--yes, I could--all day
long. Or I could write for you dangerous documents, lists of names or
instructions, so that in case of mischance the handwriting could not
compromise you. And you need not be afraid if they were to catch me. I
would know how to keep dumb. We women are not so easily daunted by pain.
I heard Peter Ivanovitch say it is our blunt nerves or something. We can
stand it better. And it's true; I would just as soon bite my tongue out
and throw it at them as not. What's the good of speech to me? Who would
ever want to hear what I could say? Ever since I closed the eyes of my
poor Andrei I haven't met a man who seemed to care for the sound of
my voice. I should never have spoken to you if the very first time you
appeared here you had not taken notice of me so nicely. I could not help
speaking of you to that charming dear girl. Oh, the sweet creature! And
strong! One can see that at once. If you have a heart don't let her set
her foot in here. Good-bye!"
Razumov caught her by the arm. Her emotion at being thus seized
manifested itself by a short struggle, after which she stood still, not
looking at him.


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