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Conrad, Joseph, 1857-1924

"Under Western Eyes"


The next moment he gave me a very special impression beyond the range of
commonplace definitions. It was as though he had stabbed himself outside
and had come in there to show it; and more than that--as though he were
turning the knife in the wound and watching the effect. That was the
impression, rendered in physical terms. One could not defend oneself
from a certain amount of pity. But it was for Miss Haldin, already so
tried in her deepest affections, that I felt a serious concern. Her
attitude, her face, expressed compassion struggling with doubt on the
verge of terror.
"What is it, Kirylo Sidorovitch?" There was a hint of tenderness in
that cry. He only stared at her in that complete surrender of all his
faculties which in a happy lover would have had the name of ecstasy.
"Why are you looking at me like this, Kirylo Sidorovitch? I have
approached you frankly. I need at this time to see clearly in
myself...." She ceased for a moment as if to give him an opportunity to
utter at last some word worthy of her exalted trust in her brother's
friend. His silence became impressive, like a sign of a momentous
resolution.
In the end Miss Haldin went on, appealingly--
"I have waited for you anxiously. But now that you have been moved to
come to us in your kindness, you alarm me.


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