Only
what I detested him for, in you ended by appearing noble and exalted.
But, I repeat, be not deceived. I was given up to evil. I exulted in
having induced that silly innocent fool to steal his father's money. He
was a fool, but not a thief. I made him one. It was necessary. I had
to confirm myself in my contempt and hate for what I betrayed. I have
suffered from as many vipers in my heart as any social democrat of them
all--vanity, ambitions, jealousies, shameful desires, evil passions of
envy and revenge. I had my security stolen from me, years of good work,
my best hopes. Listen--now comes the true confession. The other was
nothing. To save me, your trustful eyes had to entice my thought to the
very edge of the blackest treachery. I could see them constantly looking
at me with the confidence of your pure heart which had not been touched
by evil things. Victor Haldin had stolen the truth of my life from me,
who had nothing else in the world, and he boasted of living on through
you on this earth where I had no place to lay my head on. She will marry
some day, he had said--and your eyes were trustful. And do you know what
I said to myself? I shall steal his sister's soul from her. When we met
that first morning in the gardens, and you spoke to me confidingly
in the generosity of your spirit, I was thinking, 'Yes, he himself by
talking of her trustful eyes has delivered her into my hands!' If you
could have looked then into my heart, you would have cried out aloud
with terror and disgust.
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