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Gissing, George, 1857-1903

"The Nether World"

In an hour's time she had found another lodging,
which she took by the day only. Then back again to Islington. She
told her landlady that a sudden necessity compelled her to leave;
she would have a cab and remove her box at once. There was the
hazard that Sidney might return just as she was leaving; she braved
it, and in another ten minutes was out of reach. .
Let his be the blame. She had warned him, and he chose to disregard
her wish. Now she had cut the last bond that fretted her, and the
hours rushed on like a storm-wind driving her whither they would.
Her mind was relieved from the stress of conflict; despair had given
place to something that made her laugh at all the old scruples. So
far from dreading the judgments that would follow her disappearance,
she felt a pride in evil repute. Let them talk of her! If she dared
everything, it would be well understood that she had not done so
without a prospect worthy of herself. If she broke away from the
obligations of a life that could never be other than poor and
commonplace, those who knew her would estimate the compensation she
had found. Sidney Kirkwood was aware of her ambitions; for his own
sake he had hoped to keep her on the low level to which she was
born; now let him recognise his folly! Some day she would present
herself before him:--'Very sorry that I could not oblige you, my
dear sir, but you see that my lot was to be rather different from
that you kindly planned for me.


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