Last of all, she began to drink. Our fourth child was
born just at that time; Jenny had a bad illness, and I believe it
set her mind wrong. I lost all control of her, and she used to say
if it wasn't for the children she'd go and leave me. One morning we
quarrelled very badly, and I did as I'd threatened to--I walked
about the streets all the night that followed, never coming home. I
went to work next day, but at dinner-time I got frightened and ran
home just to speak a word. Little Mike, the eldest, was playing on
the stairs, and he said his mother was asleep. I went into the room,
and saw Jenny lying on the bed dressed. There was something queer in
the way her arms were stretched out. When I got near I saw she was
dead. She'd taken poison.
'And it was I had killed her, just as much as if I'd put the poison
to her lips. All because I thought myself such a wise fellow,
because I'd resolved to live more prudently than other men of my
kind did. I wanted to save money for the future--out of
five-and-twenty shillings a week. Many and many a day I starved
myself to try and make up for expenses of the home. Sidney, you
remember that man we once went to hear lecture, the man that talked
of nothing but the thriftlessness of the poor, and how it was their
own fault they suffered? I was very near telling you my story when
we came away that night.
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