Did she understand him aright?
Try to read her mind. The world had all at once grown very large, a
distress to her imagination; worse still, she had herself become a
person of magnified importance, irrecognisable in her own sight,
moving, thinking so unnaturally. Jane, I assure you, had thought
very little of herself hitherto--in both senses of the phrase.
Joyous because she could not help it, full of gratitude, admiration,
generosity, she occupied her thoughts very much with other people,
but knew not self-seeking, knew not self-esteem. The one thing
affecting herself over which she mused frequently was her suffering
as a little thrall in Clerkenwell Close, and the result was to make
her very humble. She had been an ill-used, ragged, work-worn child,
and something of that degradation seemed, in her feeling, still to
cling to her. Could she have known Bob Hewett's view of her
position, she would have felt its injustice, but at the same time
would have bowed her head. And in this spirit had she looked up to
Sidney Kirkwood, regarding him as when she was a child, save for
that subtle modification which began on the day when she brought
news of Clara Hewett's disappearance.
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