'Oh come, now! I'm fond of pudding.'
Thus it was always; if he could not direct by kindness, he would
never try to rule by harsh words. Six years ago it was not so easy
for him to be gentle under provocation, and he would then have made
a better disciplinarian in such a home as this. On Amy and Tom all
his rare goodness was thrown away. Never mind; shall one go over to
the side of evil because one despairs of vanquishing it?
The budget, the budget! Always so many things perforce cut out;
always such cruel pressure of things that _could_ not be cut out. In
the early days of his marriage he had accustomed himself to a
liberality of expenditure out of proportion to his income; the
little store of savings allowed him to indulge his kindness to Clara
and her relatives, and he kept putting off to the future that strict
revision of outlay which his position of course demanded. The day
when he had no longer a choice came all too soon; with alarm he
discovered that his savings had melted away; the few sovereigns
remaining must be sternly guarded for the hour of stern necessity.
How it ground on his sensibilities when he was compelled to refuse
some request from Clara or the girls! His generous nature suffered
pangs of self-contempt as often as there was talk of economy.
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