" It is, he adds, to scrupulous attention to the position of
his bed that he ascribes his longevity, the enjoyment of perfect health,
and the absence of infirmity.
HOW THE INVENTOR PLAGUES HIS WIFE.
A facetious chap connected with one of our daily newspapers gave the
following amusing burlesque on the trials of an inventor's wife:
"It is all very well to talk about working for the heathen," said one,
as the ladies put up their sewing, "but I'd like to have some one tell
me what I am to do with my husband." "What is the matter with him?"
asked a sympathetic old lady. "William is a good man," continued the
first, waving her glasses in an argumentative way, "but William will
invent. He goes inventing round from morning till night, and I have no
peace or comfort. I didn't object when he invented a fire escape, but I
did remonstrate when he wanted me to crawl out of the window one night
last winter to see how it worked. Then he originated a lock for the door
that would not open from midnight until morning, so as to keep burglars
out. The first time he tried it he caught his coat tail in it, and I had
to walk around him with a pan of hot coals all night to keep him from
freezing.
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