"I will
come home as quickly as possible."
"No, John, I find it is better for me to go to sleep early. Indeed, as
you are leaving me, I will go to my room now. Good night, dear!"
He said good night but his voice was cold, and his heart anxious and
dissatisfied. And after Jane had left the room he sat down again,
irresolute and miserable. "Why should I go to the Club?" he asked
himself. "Why should I care about its small ways and regulations? I have
something far more important to think of. I will not go out tonight."
He sat still thinking for half an hour, then he looked again at his
watch and found that it was yet possible to be at the Club in time. So
with a great sigh he obeyed that urging of duty, which even in society
matters he could not neglect and be at rest.
There was no light in Jane's room when he returned home and he spent the
night miserably. Waking he felt as if walking through the valley of the
shadows of loss and intolerable wrong. Phantoms created by his own
sorrow and fear pressed him hard and dreams from incalculable depths
troubled and terrified his soul.
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