She feared he might have a fit and fall
downstairs. Colonel Booth had found his death in that way when he heard
of his son's accident on the railway. "All Yorkshiremen," she mused,
"are so full-blooded and hot-blooded, everything that does not please
them goes either to their brains or their hearts--and John _has_ a
heart." Yes, she acknowledged John had a heart, and then wondered again
what made him so anxious to have children.
But with all her efforts to make a commonplace event of her husband's
great sorrow, she did not succeed in stifling the outcry in her own
heart. She whispered to it to "Be still!" She promised to make up for
it, even to undo it, sometime; but the Accuser would not let her rest,
and when exhaustion ended in sleep, chastised her with distracting,
miserable dreams.
John walked slowly upstairs, but he had no thought of falling. He knew
that something had happened to the Inner Man, and he wanted to steady
and control him. It was not Jane's opinions; it was not public opinion,
however widespread it might be.
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