I merely mention this as it may be
satisfactory to my countless well-wishers. But of course the old
address--"CROESUS: London" will still find me. I publish below a
selection from the letters received during the week.
(1.) SIR,--You informed me in a private communication, that the Patent
Spills Manufacturing Co. stock was a splendid investment. Acting on
this, I bought. From that moment, Spills have fallen steadily. Kindly
explain.
Yours,
INDIGNANT.
[To this I can only answer, that the complaint is ludicrous, and
preposterous. If you had bought on the day I advised, and sold out ten
minutes afterwards, you would have realised a handsome profit of one
farthing a share. Moreover, how can anything fall steadily? I never
did, which shows what a fool "INDIGNANT" must be.
CROESUS.]
(2.) SIR,--I send L22,000 19s. 83/4d., which I wish tied up as tightly
as possible in the Unlimited Packthread Stock Company, which you say
is as safe as a house. Let me know which particular house you mean.
The money belongs (or belonged) to my Maiden Aunt.
Yours sincerely,
BALIK RASH.
[Consider it done, my dear Sir; consider it done. I return the three
farthings, for which I have no possible use.
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