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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, November 28, 1891"


_Second Pass._ (_drily_). I was not thinking of that, although it is a
consideration. But how about the rates, my dear Sir--the rates?
_First Pass._ (_with a good-humoured laugh_). Oh, bother the rates! I
don't see where they come in.
_Second Pass._ (_with ghastly jocularity_). But I do--by the front
door.
_First Pass._ (_condescendingly_). Tut, tut! But what have the rates
to do with the matter?
_Second Pass._ (_astonished_). Why, at a shilling in the pound and
more to follow, you must admit they make a hole in a modest income?
_First Pass._ (_enthusiastically_). And what if they do, Sir--what if
they do? Have we no duty to our fellow man? Ought we not to sacrifice
something on his behalf--for his sake? And, my dear Sir, I speak all
the more dispassionately, because my rates are paid--_by my Landlord!_
[_Curtain._
* * * * *
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.--"HISTORICAL GARDENER."--Yes, certainly--it
was "The Gallows-tree," from which "The Hanging Gardens of Babylon"
took their name. Any school-boy knows this.--"INQUIRING BUOY."--No;
the Nore Light is not a candelabraham.
* * * * *
HOW IT'S DONE!
[Illustration]
DEAREST MADGE,
You have asked me to tell you some scandal!
You seem to forget how I hate such a theme--
How I loathe and detest every girl who's a Vandal,
Destroying that fine work of Art, Nature's Scheme.


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