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Petronius Arbiter, 20-66

"The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter"


When presently one calling for a bumper, "The day," said he, "is
nothing, 'tis night e're the scene turn, and therefore nothing is
better than to go straight from bed to board. We have had a great
deal of frost, the bagnio has scarce heated me; but a warm drinking is
my wardrobe-keeper: For my part, I have spun this days thread; the
wine is got into my noddle, and I am down-right--"
Selucus went on with the rest, "And I," said he, "do not bathe every
day, for he where I use to bathe is a fuller: Cold water has teeth in
it, and my head grows every day more washy than others, but when I
have got my dose in my guts, I bid defiance to cold: Nor could I well
do it to day, for I was at a funeral, a jolly companion, and a good
man was he, Crysanthus has breathed his last: 'Tis not long since we
were together, and methinks I talk with him now. Alas, alas! we are
but blown bladders, less than flies, yet they have somewhat in them:
But we are meer bubbles. You'll say he would not be rul'd; not a drop
of water, or crumb of bread went down his throat in five days: And yet
he's gone, or that he died of the doctor. But I am of opinion his
time was come; for a physician is a great comfort. However, he was
well carried out of his house upon a rich bed, and mightily lamented,
he made some of his servants free; but his wife seem'd not much
concerned for him. You'll say again he was not kind to her; but women
are a kind of kites; whatever good is done them, 'tis the same as if
it were thrown in a well; and old love is as bad as a goal.


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