Be content with your own, thou she-kite, and don't disquiet
me, thou harlotry, or otherwise thou'lt find what I am; thou knowest
well enough, if I once set on't, 'tis immoveable. But we'll remember
the living.
"Come, my friends, let's see how merry ye can be, for in my time I
have been no better than your selves, but by my own industry I am what
I am: 'Tis the heart makes a man, all the rest is but stuff. I buy
cheap and sell dear; another man may sell ye other things, but I enjoy
my self; and thou dunghillraker, are thou yet gruntling, I'll make ye
hereafter do it for somewhat.
"But as I was saying my frugality brought the fortune I have: I came
out of Asia no taller than this candlestick, and daily measured my
self by it: and that I might get a beard the sooner, rubb'd my lips
with the candle-grease; yet I kept Ganymede to my master fourteen
years (nor is any thing dishonourable that the master commands) and
the same time contented my mistress: Ye know what I mean, I'll say no
more, for I am no boaster. By this means, as the gods would have it,
the governing the house was committed to me, and nothing was done but
by my guidance: What need many words? He made me joint-heir with
C?¦sar, and I had by it a Senator's estate; but no man thinks he has
enough, and I had a mighty desire to turn merchant. Not to detain you
longer; I built five ships, freighted them with wines, which at that
time were as dear as gold, and sent them to Rome; you'll think I
desir'd to have it so: All my ships founder'd at sea; 'tis a great
truth, no story; Neptune swallowed me in one day three hundred
thousand sesterties.
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