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Petronius Arbiter, 20-66

"The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter"


Matters thus order'd, having, as all that wou'd thrive in the world,
implor'd the assistance of Heaven, we began our march, but both Gito
did not like his new slavery, and Eumolpus's hir'd servant, bearing
most of our baggage, in a little time beginning to be uneasie in his
service, wou'd often rest his burden; and with ten thousand wry looks,
and as many curses for our going so fast, at last swore he would
either leave his charge, or go quite away with 't. "'Sdeath," said
he, "d'ye think I'm a pack-horse, or a dray, that you load me thus? I
was hir'd for a man, not a horse; nor am I less a gentleman by birth
than any of you all; tho' my father left me in a mean condition." Nor
content with reproaches, but getting before us, he lift up one leg,
and, venturing his choler at the wrong end, filled our nostrils with a
beastly scent.
Gito mockt his humour, and for every crack he gave, return'd the like,
that one ill-scent might stifle another.
But, even here, Eumolpus returning to his old humour: "Young men,"
began he, "this poetry deceives many; for not only every one that is
able to give a verse its numbers, and spin out his feble sence in a
long train of words, has the vanity to think himself inspir'd; but
pleaders at the bar, when they wou'd give themselves a loose from
business, apply themselves to poetry, as an entertainment without
trouble; believing it easier to compile a poem than maintain a
controversie, adorn'd with a few florid sentences.


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