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L'Estrange, Alfred Guy Kingan, 1832-1915

"History of English Humour, Vol. 2 (of 2)"

"
Here is another instance;--
"Ptr--r--r--ing--twing--twang--prut--trut;--'tis a cursed bad
fiddle. Do you know whether my fiddle's in tune or no?--trut--prut.
They should be fifths. 'Tis wickedly strung--tr--a, e, i, o, u,
twang. The bridge is a mile too high, and the sound post absolutely
down,--else,--trut--prut.
"Hark! 'tis not so bad in tone. Diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle,
diddle, diddle, dum. There is nothing in playing before good
judges; but there's a man there--no, not him with the bundle under
his arm--the grave man in black,--'sdeath! not the man with the
sword on. Sir, I had rather play a capriccio to Calliope herself
than draw my bow across my fiddle before that very man; and yet
I'll stake my Cremona to a Jew's trump, which is the greatest odds
that ever were laid, that I will this moment stop three hundred and
fifty leagues out of time upon my fiddle without punishing one
single nerve that belongs to him. Twiddle diddle,--tweddle
diddle,--twiddle diddle,--twoddle diddle,--twiddle
diddle;--prut-trut--krish--krash--krush,--I've outdone you, Sir,
but you see he's no worse; and was Apollo to take his fiddle after
me, he can make him no better. Diddle diddle; diddle diddle, diddle
diddle,--hum--dum--drum.


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