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L'Estrange, Alfred Guy Kingan, 1832-1915

"History of English Humour, Vol. 2 (of 2)"

Crawley, after a pause.
"'Sir Pitt will do anything,' said the Rector's wife, 'we must get
Miss Crawley to make him promise it, James.'
"'Pitt will promise anything,' replied the brother, 'he promised
he'd pay my college bills, when my father died; he promised he'd
build the new wing to the Rectory. And it is to this man's
son--this scoundrel, gambler, swindler, murderer, of a Rawdon
Crawley, that Matilda leaves the bulk of her money. I say it's
unchristian. By Jove it is. The infamous dog has got every vice
except hypocrisy, and that belongs to his brother."
"'Hush, my dearest love! we're in Sir Pitt's grounds,' interposed
his wife.
"'I say he has got every vice, Mrs. Crawley. Don't bully me. Didn't
he shoot Captain Marker? Didn't he rob young Lord Dovedale at the
Cocoa Tree? Didn't he cross the fight between Bill Soames and the
Cheshire Trump by which I lost forty pound? You know he did; and as
for women, why you heard that before me, in my own magistrates
room--'
"'For heaven's sake, Mr. Crawley,' said the lady, 'spare me the
details.'"
It was in a great measure to this severe sarcasm that Thackeray owed his
popularity. He justly observes:--
"My rascals are no milk-and-water rascals, I promise you .


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