Were it published,
the evil must be borne. No diligence on her part, or on the part of
her lawyers, could prevent it.
But what had she meant when she wrote of continual sin, sin not to be
avoided, of sin repeated daily which nevertheless weighed her to the
ground? Was it expected of him that he should answer that portion of
her letter? It amounted to a passionate renewal of that declaration
of affection for himself which she had made at Koenigstein, and which
had pervaded her whole life since some period antecedent to her
wretched marriage. Phineas, as he thought of it, tried to analyse the
nature of such a love. He also, in those old days, had loved her, and
had at once resolved that he must tell her so, though his hopes of
success had been poor indeed. He had taken the first opportunity, and
had declared his purpose. She, with the imperturbable serenity of a
matured kind-hearted woman, had patted him on the back, as it were,
as she told him of her existing engagement with Mr. Kennedy. Could it
be that at that moment she could have loved him as she now said she
did, and that she should have been so cold, so calm, and so kind;
while, at that very moment, this coldness, calmness, and kindness was
but a thin crust over so strong a passion? How different had been
his own love! He had been neither calm nor kind.
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