He frets, and says nothing; but he tells Violet, and then
she lectures me in that wise way of hers which enables her
to say such hard things with so much seeming tenderness.
She asks me why I do not take a companion with me, as I am
so much afraid of solitude. Where on earth should I find a
companion who would not be worse than solitude? I do feel
now that I have mistaken life in having so little used
myself to the small resources of feminine companionship. I
love Violet dearly, and I used to be always happy in her
society. But even with her now I feel but a half sympathy.
That girl that she has with her is more to her than I am,
because after the first half-hour I grow tired about her
babies. I have never known any other woman with whom I
cared to be alone. How then shall I content myself with a
companion, hired by the quarter, perhaps from some
advertisement in a newspaper?
No companionship of any kind seems possible to me,--and
yet never was a human being more weary of herself.
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