I dined and spent the evening
with the Lows, and was quite aware that I disgraced myself
with them by being perpetually lachrymose. As a rule I do
not think that I am more given than other people to talk
of myself, but I am conscious of a certain incapability of
getting rid of myself what has grown upon me since those
weary weeks in Newgate and those frightful days in the
dock; and this makes me unfit for society. Should I again
have a seat in the House I shall be afraid to get up upon
my legs, lest I should find myself talking of the time
in which I stood before the judge with a halter round my
neck.
I sympathise with you perfectly in what you say about
Loughlinter. It may be right that you should go there and
show yourself,--so that those who knew the Kennedys in
Scotland should not say that you had not dared to visit
the place, but I do not think it possible that you should
live there as yet. And why should you do so? I cannot
conceive that your presence there should do good, unless
you took delight in the place.
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