Bonteen on the head. This to me is
abominable, but I cannot help myself, unless I resolve to
go away and hide myself. That I know cannot be right, and
therefore I had better go through it and have done with
it. Though I am to be stared at, I shall not be stared at
very long. Some other monster will come up and take my
place, and I shall be the only person who will not forget
it all. Therefore I have accepted the Duke's invitation,
and shall go to Matching some time in the end of August.
All the world is to be there.
This re-election,--and I believe I shall be re-elected
to-morrow,--would be altogether distasteful to me were it
not that I feel that I should not allow myself to be cut
to pieces by what has occurred. I shall hate to go back
to the House, and have somehow learned to dislike and
distrust all those things that used to be so fine and
lively to me. I don't think that I believe any more in the
party;--or rather in the men who lead it. I used to have a
faith that now seems to me to be marvellous.
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