That which I desired so ardently six
months ago has now become so distasteful to me that I cannot accept
it. There is an amount of hustling on the Treasury Bench which makes
a seat there almost ignominious."
"Do they hustle more than they did three years ago?"
"I think they do, or if not it is more conspicuous to my eyes. I
do not say that it need be ignominious. To such a one as was Mr.
Palliser it certainly is not so. But it becomes so when a man goes
there to get his bread, and has to fight his way as though for bare
life. When office first comes, unasked for, almost unexpected, full
of the charms which distance lends, it is pleasant enough. The
new-comer begins to feel that he too is entitled to rub his shoulders
among those who rule the world of Great Britain. But when it has been
expected, longed for as I longed for it, asked for by my friends and
refused, when all the world comes to know that you are a suitor for
that which should come without any suit,--then the pleasantness
vanishes."
"I thought it was to be your career.
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