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Hay, Ian, 1876-1952

"The First Hundred Thousand"

But we had reckoned without the Practical Joke
Department. The Round Game Department having furnished us with one set
of rules, the Practical Joke Department prepared another, entirely
different, and issued them to the officers who superintended such
things as entrainment and embarkation. At least, that is the most
charitable explanation of the course of action adopted by the few Mr.
Hydes whom we encountered.
Two of these humorists linger in the memory. The first was of the type
which is admiringly referred to in commercial circles as a hustler.
His hustling took the form of beginning to shout incomprehensible
orders almost before the train had drawn up at the platform. After
that he passed from party to party, each of which was working
strenuously under its own sergeant, and commanded them (not the
sergeant) to do something else, somewhere else--a course of action
naturally calculated to promote unity and celerity of action all
round. A perspiring sergeant who ventured to point out that his party
were working under the direct orders of their Company Commander, was
promptly placed under arrest, and his flock enjoyed a welcome and
protracted breathing-space until an officer of sufficient standing
to cope with Mr. Hyde--unfortunately he was Major Hyde--could be
discovered and informed.
The second required more tactful handling. As our train-load drew
up at the platform, the officer in charge--it was Captain Blaikie,
supported by Bobby Little--stepped out, saluted the somewhat rotund
Colonel Hyde whom he saw before him, and proffered a sheaf of papers.


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