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Hay, Ian, 1876-1952

"The First Hundred Thousand"


"And what do you think of that?" he inquired.
Bobby told him.
"Quite so," agreed Blaikie. "But what you say helps nobody, though
doubtless soothing to the feelings. Now listen, Bobby, and I will
give you your first lesson in the Tactical Handling of Brass Hats.
Of course we might do as that dear old gentleman suggests, and send
seventy horses and mules on a sea voyage in charge of a party of
cooks, signallers, and machine-gunners, and let the grooms and drivers
go with the bicycles and machine-guns and field kitchens. But I don't
think we will. Nobody would enjoy the experiment much--except perhaps
the mules. No: we will follow the golden rule, which is: When given an
impossible job by a Brass Hat, salute smartly, turn about, and go and
wait round a corner for five minutes. Then come back and do the job in
a proper manner. Our five minutes are up: the coast should be clear.
Come along, Bobby, and help me to exchange those two parties."
But we encountered surprisingly few Hydes. Nearly all were
Jekylls--Jekylls of the most competent and courteous type. True,
they were inclined to treat our laboriously completed returns with
frivolity.
"Never mind those things, old man," they would say. "Just tell me who
you are, and how many. That's right: now I know all about you. Got
your working parties fixed up? Good! They ought to have everything
cleared in a couple of hours.


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