He is an ardent admirer of British
institutions, but is occasionally not a little puzzled by their
complexity. So he very sensibly comes to people like Captain Wagstaffe
for enlightenment, and they enlighten him.
Behold Achille--a guest in A Company's billet--drinking
whisky-and-sparklet out of an aluminium mug, and discussing the news
of the day.
"And your people at home," he said, "you think they are taking the War
seriously?" (Achille is addicted to reading the English newspapers
without discrimination.)
"So seriously," replied Wagstaffe instantly, "that it has become
necessary for the Government to take steps to cheer them up."
"Comment?" inquired Achille politely.
For answer Wagstaffe picked up a three-day-old London newspaper, and
read aloud an extract from the Parliamentary report. The report dealt
faithfully with the latest antics of the troupe of eccentric
comedians which appears (to us), since the formation of the Coalition
Government, to have taken possession of the front Opposition Bench.
"Who are these assassins--these imbeciles--these _cretins_," inquired
Petitpois, "who would endanger the ship of the State?" (Achille prides
himself upon his knowledge of English idiom.)
"Nobody knows!" replied Wagstaffe solemnly. "They are children of
mystery. Before the War, nobody had ever heard of them. They--"
"But they should be shot!" explained that free-born Republican,
Petitpois.
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