This
pacified them a little, but Jack had got a notion that a poor lad
was to be imposed upon, and did not distinguish very clearly; and
though I knew that I was in no fault, and, in fact, had barely escaped
the grossest injustice, yet I felt that my berth was getting to be a
disagreeable one. The notion that I was not "one of them," which, by a
participation in all their labor and hardships, and having no favor
shown me, had been laid asleep, was beginning to revive. But far
stronger than any feeling for myself, was the pity I felt for the poor
lad. He had depended upon going home in the ship; and from Boston, was
going immediately to Liverpool, to see his friends. Beside this,
having begun the voyage with very few clothes, he had taken up the
greater part of his wages in the slop-chest, and it was every day a
losing concern to him; and, like all the rest of the crew, he had a
hearty hatred of California, and the prospect of eighteen months or
two years more of hide-droghing seemed completely to break down his
spirit. I had determined not to go myself, happen what would, and I
knew that the captain would not dare to attempt to force me.
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