The people likes it; they loves
to be cheated before their faces. One, two, three--presto--begone. I'll
show your ludship as pretty a trick of putting a piece of money in your
eye and taking it out of your elbow, as you ever beheld. _Has_ your
ludship got such a thing as a good shilling about you? 'Pon my honour,
I'll return it.
PUNCH.--Be more respectful, sir, and reply to my questions. It appears
further, that several respectable persons have lost their honesty in your
booth.
RUSS.--Very little of that 'ere commodity is ever brought into it, my lud.
PUNCH.--And, in short, that you and your colleagues' hands have been
frequently found in the pockets of your audience.
RUSS.--Only in a professional way, my lud--strictly professional.
PUNCH.--But the most serious charge of all is that, on a recent occasion,
when the audience hissed your performances, you put out the lights, let in
the swell-mob, and raised a cry of "No Corn Laws."
RUSS.--Why, my lud, on that p'int I admit there was a slight row.
PUNCH.--Enough, sir. The court considers you have grossly misconducted
yourself, and refuses to grant you license to perform.
MEL.--But, my lord, I protest _I did_ nothing.
PUNCH.--So everybody says, sir. You are therefore unfit to have the
management of (next to my own) the greatest theatre in the world. You may
retire.
MEL. (_to_ RUSS.)--Oh! Johnny, this is your work--with your confounded
hanky-panky.
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