He is incessant, yet not interesting; ever
varying, yet always monotonous. Even if we were amused, we are no more
grateful for the entertainment than we are to the lamp over the table
for the light which it universally sheds, and to yield which it was
obtained on purpose. We are more gratified by the slight conversation
of one who is often silent, but who speaks from his momentary feelings,
than by all this hullaballoo. Yet this machine is generally a favourite
piece of furniture with the hostess. You may catch her eye as he
recounts some adventure of the morning, which proves that he not only
belongs to every club, but goes to them, light up with approbation;
and then, when the ladies withdraw, and the female senate deliver their
criticism upon the late actors, she will observe, with a gratified
smile, to her confidante, that the dinner went off well, and that Mr.
Bellow was very strong to-day.
All this is horrid, and the whole affair is a delusion. A variety of
people are brought together, who all come as late as possible, and
retire as soon, merely to show they have other engagements. A dinner is
prepared for them, which is hurried over, in order that a certain number
of dishes should be, not tasted, but seen: and provided that there is
no moment that an absolute silence reigns; provided that, besides the
bustling of the servants, the clattering of the plates and knives,
a stray anecdote is told, which, if good, has been heard before, and
which, if new, is generally flat; provided a certain number of certain
names of people of consideration are introduced, by which some stranger,
for whom the party is often secretly given, may learn the scale of
civilisation of which he this moment forms a part; provided the senators
do not steal out too soon to the House, and their wives to another
party, the hostess is congratulated on the success of her entertainment.
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